28 August 2008, 1:09 am
Okay I dont want to tell my friends this becasue they think ive been really strong lately so here is the deal. I was anorexic for a year and a half (its been six months since i left rehab) I was down to 85 pounds at 5 feet. Well now I have been gaining weight like crazy and I am almost past 125. I feel horrible. I dont like myself. I went from two extremes...underweight to overweight. I am scared I am going to relapse but the truth is i really want to because i want to be skinny again. But i have no one to turn to because everyone i know looks up to me for getting through anorexia and i am kind of like the girl everyone turns to when they feel down about themselves. I tried to tell my friend who lives in a different state. But she yelled at me becasue she doesnt believe ive gained so much weight and says i should be happy that my life was saved. but I feel unhealthy. I am not happy. What should I do?! just to clarify: i am five feet and 125 which is technically overweight when i was 85 i was extremely underweight also because of my family history of obesity ive found that maintaining a weight is almost impossible. ive struggled with weight problems my whole life... read more
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